Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
