im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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