Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
