Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
