Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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