my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
