Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Randomize
