are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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