Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
