Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.