32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.