i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!