dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend