I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
