I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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