Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
