Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
