Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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