and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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