never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
