the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
