Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
honey bunches of taint.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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