It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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