i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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