So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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