There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
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What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.