Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.