And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
