Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize