You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize