I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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