I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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