btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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