Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
