Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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