look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
