I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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