Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
