Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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