Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
