: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
