I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize