it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
