Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
