This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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