I think I am morally bankrupt
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
