i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
