if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
