if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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