i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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