So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
