can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
