woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
