Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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