She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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