I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Its about making memories worth repressing
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
