Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
