onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize