my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
