she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
