He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
