you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
