It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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